In true form in the week leading up to Christmas we already spend our days and nights partying in proper homage to the festive season. Day One went like this:
9.00 am: Calling in sick to work with Christmas flu I start the day by picking up Charlie Jay and heading off to the Melbourne Zoo where we feast on Tuna sandwiches in front of the bear pen while mocking them about their weight. Classic Christmas tradition for the both of us. In the car Charlie Jay hooks up his Sansa Mp 3 Player to my Kensington Liquid FM Universal MP 3 Modulator and we rock out to the soundtrack of About A Boy, lots of good festive music in that little movie.
12.00 pm : After being escorted out of the Zoo by the guards for starting a riot at monkey cage by throwing insane amounts of peanuts at them we leave to pick up Matt Hoffman for a picnic at the Botanical Gardens hosted by Tara Conner and co. When Matt gets in the car he hooks up his iPhone to my Kensington Liquid FM Universal MP 3 Modulator and we chill out to some G Funk Era music courtesy of Warren G. Chilled and glazed by the time we get to the picnic we start off by drinking all the wine and eating all the cake that Tara has spread out for the party of 25 people expected. We do this rather early before more than half of the guests are there and when Tara finds out she can hardly restrain herself from leaping on top of me and bashing my head in with a Turkey leg. Me and Charlie leave Matt there to placate her.
3.25 pm: Arriving at The Turk’s office to pick him up rather early from work we head to a High Tea reception at The Hilton. The Turk hooks up his iPod Nano to my Kensington and we are blasted by the lethal tunes of ACDC. Arriving at the High Tea fully pumped up, I see my girlfriend Stacey Peruzzi waiting for me at her table wearing an amazing white dress and a look that tells me I am late. Seating my self next to her for the next few hours I am at my very best serenading her friends with interesting tales and laying down the charm full force, working my magic, smoothing any ruffled feathers, basically a full tour de force of charisma at its very height. All this while Charlie and The Turk stuff up on brownies and other delicate delicacies set out at the buffet table.
6.00 pm: Leaving Stacey smiling and happy me and the guys head for the pub, picking up a very drunk J. Hoover Sinclair on the way. “Two Time” Sinclair hooks up his fancy new iPod to my Kensington and plays the National Anthem at full volume while we sing along like mad men. Arriving at the pub fully ready for all out action we find ourselves in a drinking competition with a traveling rugby team from Norway.
3.45 am: The last few hours are very hazy but I find myself in only my boxers, face down in the back of my car sleeping with my Kensington Liquid FM Universal MP 3 Modulator attached to someone’s iPhone playing Bob Marley’s Redemption song. Suffice it to say holiday season is in full effect.