I walk in to Charlie Jay’s house last Saturday and I find the guy on his couch with his feet wrapped in some weird patches.
Johnny Catch: So what are we looking at here man, you got some weird rashes, stepped on a rusty nail? What? No wait let me guess, you have an unusual growth of fungus.
Charlie Jay: Ever the pubescent puerile comedian that laughs alone JC. I’m detox-ing here dude!
Johnny Catch: Detox?
Charlie Jay: Yeah this here is a Muduko Detox Foot Patch.
Johnny Catch: I don’t know what that means man.
Charlie Jay: They could fill libraries with the vastness of your ignorance.
Johnny Catch: I don’t think many people fill libraries with ignorance so that’s the dumbest metaphor you have ever used.
Charlie Jay: Only an ignoramus would say that. Anyways…. These patches here, they assist in unblocking sweat pores, and work to absorb secreted toxins, an aid to affect cleansing if you like.
Johnny Catch: That’s kinda cool, sorta like leeches but not alive.
Charlie Jay: Yeah you can think of it that way if it helps your feeble mind to comprehend the sheer genius of this product.
Johnny Catch: But Jay if they’re for your feet why do you have some of the patches plastered on your forehead?
Charlie Jay: I figure you need a detox all over, that’s why I even put a few on my chest, to help the heart and all that.
Johnny Catch: That’s kinda gross dude.
Charlie Jay: But infinitely cool and extremely healthy. You can put one of these patches anywhere.
Johnny Catch: Anywhere huh?
Charlie Jay: ANY where.