We have some very significant news.
An investment consortium of Tiger Global management (Investors in Facebook, Zynga and LinkedIn), James Packer’s Consolidated Press Holdings, Andrew Bassat from SEEK and Glenn Poswell from Gannet Capital have just acquired a minority stake in our business and become our partners.
The deal values our company at $200 million, making it the largest investment in the Australian ecommerce sector to date. We should all be very proud of what we have achieved.
It was a tough decision, but when James Packer agreed to throw in discounted parking at the casino to all staff – we knew it was a deal we couldn’t refuse.
I’m sure many of you have some burning questions to ask. I will attempt to pre-empt as many of them as possible.
Q: Can I still come to work wearing shorts and thongs?
A: Absolutely. In fact anyone seen wearing a tie will be fired immediately. It took a meeting with President Obama to get Mark Zuckerberg to wear a suit, but even then, he had his collar popped out. Keep rocking those Havaianas.
Q: Will I be losing my desk to some big executive?
A: Absolutely not. No one is coming in to sit over our heads and monitor how we run this business. We’ve tricked them into thinking we know what we are doing so they’re going to trust our “unique” way of getting things done.
Q: What’s on Catch tomorrow?
A: No idea! See, nothing’s changed!
Q: So nothing is going to change?
A: Well, nothing much… except…. we’ll be moving into a massive new building, with so many car park spaces you can each have your name on one. The new office space is enormous. In simple terms we are looking at around four times our current office space. The warehouse is also four times bigger, meaning no more lame “Warehouse Clearance” sales and much faster packing. Oh and we should be launching another two websites (BrandStreet and GroceryRun) which should give many of you the opportunity to pull up your socks (if you are wearing socks, you really don’t have to) and take your careers up a few notches.
There is also the small matter of the suitcases full of cash now available to support new technology investments, a couple of acquisitions of other similar minded internet startups and a few media and advertising campaigns to top it off.
Let’s not forget that with this deal we are also joining some very fine company indeed, with not just financial resources but an equally casual dress sense, passion for the internet, huge experience, knowledge, contacts and a shared hunger to break records in this fast growing scene.
To wrap things up, we still own most of the business and will be staying put working hard to make this business even bigger and better.
Thank you for putting so much energy into your work, burning the midnight oil when called for and propelling this company forward. When some of our so-called competitors are at the pub, we are still hard at it, doing what it takes keep us Australia’s #1 destination for unbeatable deals.
Hold on tight, it’s going to be a fun ride!
Gabby and Hezi
P.S: Gourmet pizza for everyone in the lunch room. Run.